pulling the trigger

oh yes i pulled the trigger. probably not the best expression (awfully suggestive of self-slaughter) but that was how the boss put it, one clever man when it comes to double-meanings. a career suicide was how he saw it and i couldn't blame him. he put me where i am now. i recognized how determined he was in convincing me that what i'm about to do is impractical, insane and plain stupid. one who quits his job without having landed another one yet definitely falls under crazy or dumb. he tried talking me into reconsidering my decision, which i appreciated, but despite the superb sales man that he is, i just didn't buy it. so pull the trigger i did and i'm now two days away from officially hanging my admin hat or CS headset, whichever is official. for him, my giving up the post didn't make any sense, more like kicking the bucket but i just saw it differently. he may have assumed i haven't thought it through well enough. things happened so suddenly as though my resignation letter was one huge practical joke and i was waiting for him to freak out. except i was serious, and his reaction, just pure shock. i immediately felt sorry. but the corporate world knows no emotion, or so tin said. i believe her. they'll get by without me. and as for me, stupid or not stupid i have to be where i have to be. with my family. end of story.

man's perfection (a universal tuth, just universally denied)

i've been constantly barraged by one man's unbelievable call, clamor, advocacy for perfection. any quest for attaining perfection is nothing but a wild-goose chase and that's how i see it. a thing which i've been having a hard time communicating to my boss. nobody's perfect, period. he thinks otherwise and i can not counter that. just one of the taboos in the corporate world i guess--not letting one's boss know he's totally wrong about one thing, especially if he strongly believes it to be true, solid as a pope to his faith. or monk or jew. so yeah, it's my boss who's expecting nothing less than perfection from me, in my work, in everything i do. he's all nuts about perfection and ever relentless in preaching and imbibing in me the doctrines of perfection that i'm slowly starting to accept that man's imperfection is horribly abnormal. this leads me to this question. is perfection even possible? i'd say yes. but to a certain degree. one could be a perfect cook who comes up with a perfect dish all the time, but he could also be a terrible driver at the same time, or basketball player, or liar or lover. see the point? man could be so damn good, even perfect in one thing or two, but not in everything. i'm pretty sure its just not doable, absolutely impossible. not that i'm finding an excuse for being imperfect, well maybe i am, but that's not the point. i can be ridiculously close to being perfect in some things but hey, i'm only human, and a man at that, raised as a kid and grew up believing that the idea that nobody's perfect is an absolute truth. but now, like a christian shattered by the news that there's no God, i am starting to doubt the assumed fact that no man is perfect. is man really capable of attaining perfection? or is he just too lazy to even attempt reaching it? had it been a conspiracy amongst early humans to just accept the idea about man's imperfection as truth to save them the enormous hassle of upholding perfection? all of this makes me wonder if any of what boss has been saying bear any truth to it. come to think of it, man may have the ability to achieve perfection. with the right motivation, the right outlook and extreme determination, hell, it could be possible.perhaps the sheer pressure of consistently being perfect is too enormous for man that it's preferable, convenient even, for everybody to just accept that man, despite it's ability to attain perfection, is just imperfect and will simply choose to be so. lets just say everything is possible, and one pessimistic lazy-ass came up with the word impossible, preached it to the crowd, turned it into a religion and successfully amassed a multitude of followers. i think same goes with perfection. it is attainable, a universal truth just universally denied. supposedly a fact effectively corrupted by the thought that nobody is perfect. on the other hand, man's imperfection could be doing us a huge favor. life would be less as fun as it is  now if everything and everybody is perfect, wouldn't it?

all for nothing

two hours of loud, animated, if not empty, discussion and explanation about careering and career path practically started out and ended in, well, silence. silence filled with meaningful, understood glances and gestures from disappointed employees. i, personally, have grown tired taking pride in my work and the company i'm working for. appreciation is good, giving out well-deserved recognitions. it sure keeps the motivation and the drive going. but drives and motivations could only do so much for a company, especially the people. without any hint of hypocrasy, just reality speaking in and of itself, what ultimately keeps people motivated to strive hard and continue showing excellence in his work is, you got it right, money. pride, recognition, lateral movements, learning of new skills are all good, nothing wrong with it, recognize people all you want, but at the end of the day, all of these become worthless, especially when the bills start pouring in. i wish i could fully understand what the management was trying to send across, some of it did make sense, but the thing is, many would simply prefer salary increase across the board over warm and, unfortunately, empty recognitions. it sure strokes the ego, but damn no good relieving an empty stomach.

so what's in it for me again?

interesting how after three and a half years of stay in the company i finally get to learn my career path. pretty late for something that should've been presented during orientation. had the PAL incident inspired this initiative? i mean, if i'm the boss, i'd let the workforce realize how secure their positions are in the company and the number of opportunities in store for them, real or imagined. opportunities. that's what comes to mind when i hear career paths. should i be expecting opportunities then? will find out tomorrow.