of conformism

May 31, 2008
when in rome, do as the romans do. now why the heck would anyone want to do that. it is like a wary cadet on a marching drill competition always cautious of his movements, making sure that every step, every snap of the head, every cut of the arms, every twist of the body, every motion is in sync with the drum beat and any mistake will surely warrant dismay to fellow cadets. now where’s the fun in that, i mean marching drills are cool but take this: what would you feel if you’re stuck in a room filled with thousands of punks and emos for 10 long years? would you start wearing tight jeans with studded belts and death metal shirts and heavy eyeliners and wear Converse or skater shoes and suddenly have a taste for death metals and screamos? or wear flat tops or mohawks in all sorts of neon colors and don checkered pants and combat boots and start yelling like you own the world? will you not change even a single bit? of course if you’re already a punk or an emo before getting stuck in that room then this hypothetical thing does not apply to you, think of the opposite! will you not change even a bit just to fit in? if you say no, then hats off to an impressive non-conformist you! and this article would not apply to you either so scram. this is for those who would say yes or would find it difficult given the situation.
why in the first place would some if not most of us find it difficult? is it because to conform is but human nature and we can’t help it? early humans must have been very good at fitting in, i guess conforming is not the proper term but adapting. by constant observation of the world around them they start to adjust, bit by bit they were able to come up with rules or rather a long list of to do’s and not to’s for survival usually drawn out of personal experience and perhaps the misfotune of others. their decendants simply has to conform to whatever rules existing to survive, observing and following what others were doing thus, i suspect, the dawn of conformism. well, it’s just an opinion and i could be very wrong. but if i were right why the tendency to conform and fit in now when back then it was for sheer survival which i think no longer applies today;survival that is, wild animals roaming about, if you get my drift.
 the instances i’m showing may be extreme, like the emos and punks, or nonsensical like the marching cadet or even superannuated like the early homo sapiens, and perhaps these examples may be too farfetched for you to experience or even relate to. so why do what the romans are doing when in rome? good thing i happen to come across a particular theory in communications which might help shed light to all of these. a simple theory yet could leave us wondering how such a simple rule may help explain a complex psychological concept as conformism. it’s called the rule-following theory and it states that human, regardless of race, age or gender most of the time unconciously follow set of rules in a certain environment, group or even a given situation. what’s surprising is mostly none has even the slightest hint of what these rules are, they just follow it blindly. so how does it relate to conformity?
let me cite some instances where there seem to be general rules that most people tend to observe, unconciously. –wearing of absurdly short skirts, slippers, baggy short pants, blinding bling-blings, plunging neckline, huge misplaced peircings is OK, anywhere but inside the church (i’m a catholic BTW). ever done square dance in a rave party? why so cautious as a crook with the word "baboy" in a crowd of over-sized people when referring to the four-legged creature anyway? yell crazy to anyone anywhere save a psycho-ward.
sometimes some actions are done not because one wants to but because one is expected to given the situation. in a bus, inside a room, in a lobby or anywhere where seats are not for all, a gentleman is expected to offer his seat to (in proper order): elderly women, elderly men, pregnants, handicaps, captivating/alluring ladies, average charming ladies, ladies, male members of the church, male bosses and superiors and, lastly/rarely–fellow male. this is a classic example of male courtesy, but let’s admit it, some are just compelled to do it because it is what the public expects them to do, as if they have no choice. we’ll there is another option actually–simply doze off or pretend to. nobody is expected to disturb a napping person in public (which is BTW another rule usually observed by the majority, so it’s effective).
conformity as i see it means keeping a wary eye on one’s actions making sure they dwell within the confines of what the majority perceive as satisfactory and acceptable, this is the main thing about confomity: you become what the majority is. take this–one chose iced tea when craving for a fruit shake because it’s what everyone ordered. worse, in a coffee shop one overheard a friend and ordered an extra bold Arqabian Mocha Sanani without a hint of what it is. worst,  another one followed "kagaya nung sa kanya" index finger pointing for emphasis.
it seems like most of us opt for the safer easily acceptable conformism rather than the loud radically distinctive non-conformism. why? Maybe because of our strong need to belong–families, clans, clubs, groups, orgs, gangs, associations, unions, bodies, parties, units, anything denoting assembledge of people–we live in a world where the term "no man is an island" is so true and one can’t help but find a group of people he/she’s comfortable with and most actions or even decisions are in conformity to the norms of the group he/she’s in. it is also possible that, like animals, we find strength in numbers thus the tendency to conform to the standards of the majority. or maybe because majority, as simple and as lame as it may sound, always win. or perhaps we are more comfortable camouflaged in the crowd and conforming is an easy option if standing out is out of the question.
there are a lot of reasons why one would tend to conform, consciously or unconsciously. conformism i guess covers a lot of ground and my weak attempt at expounding it is nothing but a scratch on the surface or not even close. i may not even make sense at all. so why do what the romans are doing when in rome? personally, i don’t know, havent been there.